I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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