when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
