i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
