one two three fourrrrnication!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
