i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
