$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
