Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
