I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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