Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
