Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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