I just made out with a guy for $7.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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