Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
