Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
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I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
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Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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