yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
