so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You pole danced in your parka.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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