he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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