Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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