put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
