I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
