It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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