ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
