So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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