ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
