She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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