and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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