it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
