guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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