This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
