She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we made out on top of his cat.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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