the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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