Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
