I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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