we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
