The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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