well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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