Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
