Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
