You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Randomize
