I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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