marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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