if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
it's like iHOP with fire
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
