just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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