I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
