i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
There's a naked man in my car right now.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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