i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Operation Purity has been aborted
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
