you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
