dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just want nice things and good sex
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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