I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
