bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Do vagina's smell?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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