I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
