i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
