Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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