I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
