The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
