Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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