Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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