It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
