I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
