You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
