Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.