I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh