I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Fuck now we have to have sex
In a bet, need to win
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!