Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?