Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?