dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.