I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
