Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.